What Season Are You In? The Heart of A Pastor’s Wife – By Patty Byne

What “season” are you in? Mid 40’s, married, two adult children, three teenagers, one pre-teen, a Nana, a Granddaddy, a dog and a fish. Although this definitely describes the chaos I navigate through in my day to day life, it in no way describes “the season I am referring to”. What season are you in? I am referring to the season of your heart.

Proverbs 4:23 says above ALL else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. 

There are many reasons we go through  “seasons” in life; age, jobs, family, sickness, loss, etc… just to name a popular few. I’m in no way discounting the effects that life changes have on our day to day life and in turn our heart.  Please don’t hear that and miss what God has for you in this transparent witness to God’s goodness and HIS glory. I challenge you to know that in all those times of change I listed, and the ones I didn’t, that God and His word remain the same.  I am asking that as you continue reading you hear a heart tuned daily to HIM, resting in HIM, surrendered to HIM, sometimes multiple times a day because I keep letting things in that aren’t good for it. I would best describe the season of my heart over the past 6 months as broken. The loss of my Mother-In-Law threw me into some unchartered waters that I had not experienced in my 45 years of life.  Which was surprising having experienced a similar pattern that resulted in the loss of my step- father (aka Dad) less than 10 years ago.

He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. Psalm 147:3

Before I go further, let me say what a blessing my Family and church Family have been. Loving on us and interceding on our behalf. God’s people taking care of God’s people is heaven here on earth! That being said, helpful and well meaning friends and family have come along side me with the purest of intentions and said things like;”I understand”, “it’s hard”, “she’s better off”, “you’ve gotta move on” and my personal favorite “how can someone so blessed be sad?” Some with not the purest of intentions, have said; “You are being dramatic”, you knew it was coming” or “this too shall pass”.

The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences. Proverbs 18:21

Each of those comments helpful or not, kept leading me to the same questions, “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I move past this?” EVERY time I questioned, MY God, who is faithful, would say, “surrender”, “wait”, “rest”, “I am working on your behalf”.

“The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” Exodus 14:14

With great confidence and assurance I have done just that “wait”. This looked a little strange to many from the outside and some on the inside because if you know me, even a little, you know I don’t really “wait well” because I’m more of a “doer”.  It became necessary for me to share with a close circle that God was calling me to “wait”, “pause” and “reflect”.  Saying it out loud to people made some frustrated, but made most supportive, understanding and even intrigued to see what God is doing.

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. Phil 1:6

Don’t hear me to say “waiting” to mean sitting around doing nothing, watching for a BIG sign or revelation.  Do hear me say “waiting” as an active action word.  Seeking The Lord through prayer, scripture and wise counsel. Doing what HE puts in front of me each day. Putting aside things that aren’t needed that might distract me. Tuning my heart, several times throughout the day, and intentionally putting myself in a position to be still allows me to receive what He has.

“Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.” Psalm 46:10

Yes, this has meant saying no to some things and some people. Pulling away from some opportunities that were not where God was leading. Putting down some things that I felt God wanted someone else to pick up.  Someone said to me “you can’t just quit”. God quickly gave me the words to respond “you don’t quit God’s work until He takes you home. Therefore, if He asked me to lay it down, he has something else in store for me.  It may look like quitting, but it’s a new beginning to God!” Thank you Lord for that quick reply. People, even well meaning, can sometimes weigh us down and make us feel guilt that isn’t ours to feel. Don’t assume all counsel is wise! Surround yourself with the right counsel.  Do your due diligence through prayer and scripture. Ask God to reveal “your circle”.

There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

Today, I would describe the season of my heart to be repurposed. I don’t think after significant life events our hearts are ever the same because it is through those life events that God is preparing us for our next assignment.  The pain takes on a purpose and the test becomes our testimony.  So as I write this, my heart is repurposed and I share this with you because God has convicted me to do so. I pray that it’s an encouragement to you.

The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning. Lamentations 3:22-23